Most of the results are in....

 I know that everyone would like to hear what happened today at the Dr's and I so appreciate that everyone just letting me have some time to processes what I was told today. I went into this appointment very open minded and was ready to hear just what my Dr had to say. My thinking was if I just figured the worst and then my Dr said something good then that had to be better then the worst, right? It just seems to me that the darn Dr's just like throwing a wrench in that thought process sometimes. Well, I already knew from my Friday's appointment that the cancer had grown and she had also said that I had fluid on my lungs. What I didn't know was that this fluid is about 1/2 gallon of fluid and that this needed to be drained pretty quickly. OK, I can do this right? So my next question to him his "What is the procedure for this?" Let me just give you the name  and the description of this procedure

Thoracentesis: is an invasive procedure to remove fluid from the pleural space for diagnostic or therapeutic purposes. A cannula, or hollow needle, is carefully introduced into the thorax, generally after administration of local anesthesia.

So what he is telling me is we will be sticking a needle in my chest and I will be awake for this..... Holy Cow!!!! Are you kidding me right now? That sounds like a whole lot of fun!! Let me just be the first in line to sign up for this one!! Just thinking about doing this procedure right now makes me sick to my stomach but I do have the appointment schedule for tomorrow afternoon and this should relieve my coughing and tight chest pretty quickly (that's the good news) My Dr is concerned though that the build up of fluid is that the cancer may have now gone into the lining of my lungs. He will be ordering tests of the fluid and I will get result back by the end of the week. So you may be asking what next after this procedure? My Dr would like to use a newer chemo drug that was approved by the FDA about a month ago. This drug would have less side effect then the normal chemo drug and I could live a somewhat normal life on it but it needs to be approved by my insurance company first. I have dealt with this once already when my Dr wanted to use one drug that would be easier on me and the insurance said NO so I am not holding out on a whole lot of hope for this drug right now. I am expecting for them to say NO use the normal chemo drug and then once again I am back to feeling just sick and awful. If it turns out otherwise I will sure be one happy girl!! I guess you just take things one day at a time and try not to get worked up every time you get a little bad news. Right now I just want to get tomorrow over with and the procedure done and back home to my beautiful children!!