Awww.... to keep a girl waiting

     So today was my final radiation appointment. I was supposed to go first to radiation and then right downtown to my Dr's for a final check but I got a call early this morning that said they were having issue with the radiation machine so I needed to go downtown first and then to radiation. I was completely OK with any of this as long as I was getting all of this behind me and then moving forward. I get downtown and all checked in then my Dr comes in. The first thing she says is "We got the result back from your lung scan". I had done a lung scan on Tue and was set to receive this information from my Oncologist on Mon so when she said this it kind of threw me for a moment. I hadn't prepared myself for any of this information although in my heart and my mind I already knew what she was going to tell me. My cough has gotten progressively worse over the last week and breathing sometimes is very labored so when she said that the tumors in my lungs are half a size bigger and there are new tumors now I wasn't shocked. I just sat there listening to her read the report. My mind wondering what the HECK am I going to do next. She talked about a new drug waiting for FDA approval that is supposed to be amazing for my HER 2+ cancer but you never know how long this will take to get approved. So I feel like I came out of this appointment a little numb and still not knowing what next. For me I get to go through the weekend again not knowing what the next move will be. I am ALWAYS up for the fight.... It's just the waiting to find out what that fight needs to be that is so hard. How do you try and plan life when you don't know just how sick you might end up being? To make this day perfect though here is the sweetest message that I got from a dear friend and her daughter this evening

Maryn asked me today "Mom...the next time you see Ms. Connie, can you give her this?" I asked why and she said "I don't want her to be sick anymore. We can pay her doctor to fix her"

I LOVE this sweet girl and how she makes me smile!!!